文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用高级词汇就更好了;正确句子比例较高,适当增加复杂句的使用,文章会更出色;可适当增加连接词和衔接词的使用。
My favorite sport Everyone has a hobby. My hobby is to play football which my favorite sport. I think that playing football is very interesting. I like football that I had an experience. One day, on my way to my home, I picked up a football by chance. I was so happy that I played soccer with my pupil. Finally, I fell in love with playing soccer. These days, football became part of my life. I often play competitions about the football and train with my friends. I think that it is fun for me to play soccer with them. Among the football stars, I love Bei ke han mu, a football star. He comes from England. I think that he plays soccer better than any other a football player. I want to become a professional football player like him.