采用了适当的衔接手法,层次清晰;文中应增加一些长难句的使用,会为文章添彩;作者词汇基础不错,同时请加强单词拼写的检查。
It is unwise to pull all eggs in one basket It is universally acknowledged for all fund managers that it is unwise to pull all eggs in one basket.However ,it is indeed for ordinary person even not for financial affiars Smart citizens would be intelligent enough to know that they would reduce risk to a largest extent. I would like to give an example for above point.When I was a little child I don't know how to use things effectively.So,when I attent the junior examiantion of language,I brought all of pencils to take the exam.Unfortunately,I lost my pencil box and then I couldn't take the next exam.What's more ,my parents were all on work and no body could buy me some pencils.At last I cried so hardly that my teacher came to me and helped me .Therefore,I learned a unforgetable lesson from that event and try to change my habbit to make things better. I propose that everybody should have this thought .Only in this way can you make the risks you are faced with become the littlest.In addition,on the other hand ,this habbit make you become a perfect person.