文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用高级词汇就更好了;错误句子较少,可适当增加一些复杂句的使用;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用。
Last Wednesday,about ten o'clock in the night. My first lover send a message to me, unexpected. We have not touch each other about two years. The sunshine boy,the most familiar stranger who lives in my memories all the time. Although he had his own life and I have my boy. That message is extremely short but powerful:"Hello? I want your voice,and it's not a game!" To be honest,I was attached at first! And unexpectedly still want to restart with him! What in my head is all about our past and good memories. We vowed our love would endure forever. However, he broke it. The most important is that I have my boy now. He can not said to be handsome,but make me have a sense of security. And I couldn't do what my ex-boy had done before. Finally,we had to sever all tie with each other.
人气:78发布:2017-05-01
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人气:50发布:2014-08-14