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采用了适当的衔接手法，层次清晰；作者有一定功底，可在平时练习中增加长难句的记忆；作者词汇基础不错，在高级词汇的积累上还要再接再厉。
There are more and more college students take a part-time job in their spare time in recent years and such a phenomenon has caused numerous heated debates among the college students around us.Personally,every coin has two sides and part-time job is no exception. Here are some advantages.First,students can promote their study through part-time jobs.For instance, if a law student finds a part-time job in a law firm, his practice will enable him to better understand what he's learned from books.What's more, the part-time job can offer him opportunities to go beyond what he's been taught in class, and he'll learn something that doesn't exist in books but in practice. Second, students can also accumulate work experiences through part-time jobs, which will benefit their future job-hunting. Actually, part-time jobs act as warm-up exercises for students to take full-time jobs after they graduate, and help them prepare for their future careers. In addition, as fresh blood in the society, graduated students are often unfavored in job-hunting markets for lack of practical work experiences. It＇s easier to find jobs for those who have accumulated experiences in part-time jobs. Last but not least, part-time jobs can partly relieve students＇financial burden, especially those who are from poor families. College tution fees have greatly increased in the past ten years due to the new educational policy. Many students from poor families cannot afford college fees, and our bank system fail to college students loan as effectively as it does in developed countries, so taking part-time jobs becomes a way for them to meet their great expenses in campus lives. Of course,there are always two sides to a question. After-class work may distract the students' attention from their studies. Some students who have secured part-time jobs have already shown a decline in their studies. As for me,we should keep the balance between the study and the part-time job，only in this way can we benefit from part jobs.
