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采用了适当的衔接手法，层次清晰；适当增加一些复杂句的使用，文章会更棒；词汇表达用的较丰富，另外请检查文章的单词拼写。
Nowadays, people can not avoid competing with others when they take part in any activities, especially in cooperational groups. Some of them think that compitition is more important than co-operation while others hold the opposite opinion. Personally, I agree the former one. There are several reasons to interpret this saying. First and formost, competition can help us make greater peogress. Let us take deer as an example, to earn a living and protect thenselves, deer have to face the hunt of the lion, the king of grass, running as quick as possible to escape their chasing. Morover, as soon as we want to win, there is no doubt that we have to intrerfront the scene of competition. In this process, we become more confident than we choose to cooperation with others. Therefore, in such a fierce competiton, we can be brave enough and confident enough to meet the challenges confronting to us every day and join the competition if we want to make more progress in a short time.
