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文章结构清晰，有效地采用了多种衔接方法；作者在句法层面做的很棒；作者高级词汇使用比较准确，词汇表达较丰富，但仍需增加词汇积累。
In recent years, more and more college students begin to take part-time jobs in their spare time to earn pocket money or even education fees by themselves and such a phenomenon has caused numerous heated debates among the people around us. From my standpoint, taking part-time jobs has advantages as well as disadvantages. As a social activity, a part-time job certainly offers college students substantial practice, which is crucial to them after they graduate and go to their work posts. Besides, income earned from part-time jobs can solve their financial problems, especially for those who come from poor-stricken areas. Moreover, with part-time jobs, college students can put what they have learned from their books into use, thus connecting theories with practice
