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正确句子比例较高，适当增加复杂句的使用，文章会更出色；作者词汇基本功很好，在高级词汇方面希望能更熟练的使用不能熟练使用过渡词，文章结构欠佳。
My idol is LinShuhao.His English name is Jeremy Lin.Jeremy Lin is an ethnic Chinese,he was born in August,1988 in California,USA.He graduated from Harvard University.His occupation is American Profession NBA basketball player and his main position is point guard.Jeremy Lin is one of the most popular NBA players. Maybe few people had heard his name before February 5,2012.Before that,why didn’t he become famous?Because his physical was not enough outstanding and had been identified as unable to play bastetball.He even couldn’t get the opportunity to get on the court.Before he became famous,he had experienced many setbacts,for example,rejected by Stanford,the workouts were ignored,three times were exiled by Worriors and so on.In spite of this,he still didn’t give up.Finally he succeeded. Today,I will talk about what I can learn from him. 1. Believe in myself when on one else does. Lin’s only the 4th graduate from Harvard to make it to the NBA .He’s also one of only a handful Asian-Americans to make it.He was sent by the knicks to play for their D-league team 3 weeks ago in Erie,PA.He’d already been cut by two other NBA teams before joining the knicks this year.You’ve got to believe in yourself,even who on one else does. 2．People will love you for being an original ,not trying to be someone else. You’ve got to be you. Just be yourself .Whatever that is,that doesn’t mean you work hard—it just means you find what you’re good at and do it. Judy Garland said it best: always be a first-rate version of yourself,instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. 3.Seize the opportunity when it comes up. Lin got to start for the knicks because they had to start him.They had too many injuries.Baron Davis was gone.The other point guards were out.Carmelo Anthony was injured.Amare Stoudemire had to leave the team because of a family members death.Lin could have squandered the opportunity and we would have never have noticed.But he made the most of it.You never know when opportunities are going to arise in life.Often ,they’re when you least expect them.Make the most of them.Don’t fritter them away. 4.Never forget about the importance of luck or fate in life . Some people believe in god,some in destiny,some in luck.Whatever you believe in,be grateful for it. Generally speaking,there are no short cuts to success.Success is a by product of that.So,no matter how difficult it may be,I will keep on my dream.I will do my best to do it well.I will hold on to my dream and never let it go.I love my idol——Jeremy Lin.
可可英语 - 划词释义
