文中词汇表达不够丰富,高级词汇方面要多累积;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用;可适当增加复杂句和从句的使用。
I have a good friend who is name Mary.She is very tall and thin,and she is cute too. She has a head of black hair and a pair of big and bright eyes.She has a lot fo hobbies, such as swimming,singing and dancing.However,she is good at dancing which again second price in our school.in addition that,she alway help her mother do some homework.What a wonderful girls!