语句间的衔接成分用的不错,同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富;适当增加一些从句的使用,会为文章添彩;作者能词汇表达较准确熟练,但请仔细检查词汇的拼写。
welcome to China ,and the famous places is relevant to the dilicious food at China so that you can enjoy eating when you traveling. it is the most interestingplace that is the xinghai-park at here which is locted at the oversea and has many interests .most importantly ,there are not a lot crazy playing interests but the air is so comfortable when the dark coming. we can walk at the oversea to feel the sence of the sea , also we can play those intereing things that i have ever played many times when these at our sight. not last but least , it is nearby my home and there is security generally. i am so glad if you come here .