文中从句数量不足;作者词汇表达灵活丰富,希望高级词汇的使用能更熟练;衔接成分偏少。
i came from Guizhou province,as we all know,it's a nice city and tourism is very glorious.For example,there have one of the most grand waterfalls-- Huangguoshu waterfall and a mysterious palce-Longgong,they are all the Class 5A Tourist Spots in China. Meantime,my undergraduate school ——Guizhou university,it islocated in a class 4A Tourist Spots——Huaxi Park. so i'm very lucky because the paradise arounded me. Oh, I almost forgot my real hometown,not the central city Guiyang.my home town is a little country--Yingjiang.It's small,however,it's really beautiful.Besides the nice city construction,the most famouse Tourist Spots is the FanJing mountains, it Located at the juncture of Jiangkou, Songtao and Yinjiang counties,.As early as in the 16th century, Mount Fanjingshan already became a Buddhistic shrine well-known nationwide. A plenty of templeand stele remains are dotted over landscape. On reaching the Golden Summit, the highest peak of Fanjingshan Mountains range, the tourists will enjoy a sea of cloud with turbulent waves and hear the wind whistling, just as in a fairyland. After all, if u want to relaxing and adjust yourself,or u want to do a impressive trip.Come on, u will never disappointed.