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可增加从句和复杂句的使用；文章组织结构良好；作者词汇量积累不错，但请仔细检查词汇的拼写。
when it comes to issure that more and more people indulging in virtural world, individure's opinions vary from person to person. some people believer that it's colorful and all-mighty contents will enlighter our life . while others worried about it will ruin the whole world . as I can see that, it will postones our future life . first and foremost, it can imagined and predicated that people's life will be absoultely and defined changed for the future genetration with comptrure machines and social network becoming popular. in addition, that quick way to handle the problem will also isolate people and hinder the commuication between them.consequently, they may be increasily indifferent and cold-bolded since people are separated entirely. in a word, the trend that individuals choose to live in the vitural world will becoming more and more prevalent for sure . it is time that we should take some immediate measure at the moment.
