托福独立写作模拟题:关于金钱

语句间的衔接成分用得不错，同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富；从句使用很不错，再接再厉；词汇表达较丰富，高级词汇的积累还有很大的空间，文中有些单词拼错了。

Many people believe that it is important to make large amounts of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living, in my opinion i more prefer the one which are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. It is okay if a person make a large number of money because of he hold a kind motivation. He can use his money to help the people who are disability to live,also he can destribute his money to improve the condition of education. But when people make money just for themselves to get more luxry,it will get themslves more greedy and twisty. On the other hand, if people are satified to earn a comfortable living, i think they basicly not be the presure of the social, and they can live by themselves and don't need to ake people for help. And most important thing is that they didn't waste the sourse of social. Eventually, I think money is a tool for people buy goods they want, so I prefer to make money just make me comfortable , that is all i want.