文中词汇使用较丰富恰当,但高级词汇表达还需要很大提升;文中应增加从句和复合句的使用;衔接成分偏少。
football is my favorite game. I remembered the first time I played it with friend was on the way home. I found a football lies on the road and I took it to my friends. Since then I started to love this game. I joined the school football team and got regular training for every week. We always held competition while the break between the classes. Bake Ham is my idol because he was a successful football player and that inspires me to aiming to be a professional football player.