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语句间的衔接成分用得不错，同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富；从句使用很不错，再接再厉；作者词汇基础不错，注意极个别的拼写错误。
My hometown visited, the most interesting place I am in great paciant to take the visitors to see must be the Sky-Moon Lake, which is located in a local middle school. It is quiet, thousand times as beautiful as a beauty, soft, and always has the magic to bring us the sence of peace, along with the trees beside it and the birds above of it. In spring, it is in the color of green, the wave flashing; then in summer, it becomes crowed for its function of producing wind; then in autunm, it would be charmingly decorated by the yellow of the leaves; and when eventually comes to winter, it is still quiet, elegant, alike the aristocrat woman in Europe.
