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过渡词很丰富，衔接词同时使用的恰到好处；作者词汇基础很好，也能较灵活使用高级词汇，望继续努力；作者句法知识掌握的不够好，可适当增加从句的使用。
My hometown called Jiaxing that lets me live sixteen' place is the location in northeast zhejiang Provence .In my eyes,it is the most fantastic and special place just like a landscape .Above all,it's a harbour which my heart and soul are able to berth forever until the death takes my entire life as long as I disposed. As far as I know,Jiaxing is an ancient city and it's near the Hangzhou that the capital of Zhejiang Proence.The native people are rather kind and friendly than ardenta。For example,if you come here,you can enjoy the best service.Could you hear about the south lake and the red boat ?If you don't know at all,I am about to visit with you.By the way ,you can also taste the local idiomatical food such as the fried fish , the rice dumplings and so on .Jiaxing is a busy and unparalleled city as well because of the majority industrious local people. Whereas I'm too young at present ,I believe that I can plug away to give all of my schedule to build up it better. In a word, once if you come here ,you will be fond of this city with your burning heart and stay there all the time.
