文中衔接词和过渡词使用的很棒;作者英语功底扎实,可适当调整文中从句数量;作者用词灵活多样,但要注意文中极个别拼写错误。
With the advent of the internet that affected on our life deeply and a lot of sides, especially on interpersonal communication that is obvious. In this generation, more and more people communicate on internet and they usually talk less in reality, they even didn't talk to their family when they have meal together. There is an advertisement that shows that since of the internet people text each other rather than talk even though the people who they communicate with is stand by themselves. It discribed that situation which internet make us far away from each other if we don't use it correctly. It's true that internet make human life more covenience and effective, but in my view, if we depend on it too much that will make human lazy and loss our ability to solve problem by ourselves and end up we will bacome the slave of internet. In general, it is important to us to use the internet suitable and we should not depend on it so much unless we really need it.
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