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作者应增加文中长句和从句和使用；作者词汇量积累不错，高级词汇积累较少；建议在衔接词汇方面加强积累。
A Beautiful City in China In China, there are many beautiful cities with great mountain and river. Now, I will introduce the place that I born. It is Zhejiang province that gives me some deep impressions. Zhejiang,with many mysteries and interests, has a large reputation in China. Such as the west lake，it attracts many persons from all of the world every year due to it's beautiful and fame.What is more,there is a statue of Luxun in Shaoxing.Do you hear his story.In my mind ,he is a great person and a brave writer can critical the social and start using flexible word.I appreciate him very much. If you are interested in my country.You can come and I could guide you around everywhere,particularly Zengjiang.I would tell its historic stories,I think,which must appeal to you.my deal friends,I am waiting for you.
