作者应增加文中长句和从句和使用;作者词汇量积累不错,高级词汇积累较少;建议在衔接词汇方面加强积累。
A Beautiful City in China In China, there are many beautiful cities with great mountain and river. Now, I will introduce the place that I born. It is Zhejiang province that gives me some deep impressions. Zhejiang, with many mysteries and interests, has a large reputation in China. Such as the west lake,it attracts many persons from all of the world every year due to it's beautiful and fame. What is more,there is a statue of Luxun in Shaoxing. Do you hear his story.In my mind , he is a great person and a brave writer can critical the social and start using flexible word. I appreciate him very much. If you are interested in my country. You can come and I could guide you around everywhere, particularly Zengjiang. I would tell their stories in history, I think,which must appeal to you. My dear friends,I am waiting for you.