句式变化多样,句法方面做的很棒;文中词汇使用较丰富,高级词汇使用要加强;衔接词和过渡词用的很不错。
At present there has amount parent that wants to take care about all their children.As makes a choice, choose the future and coat. But it was bad for the child to independent, because the child will grow up and they must make a choice by themselves. But the parents limit the children to make choose by themselves, that would led to the children dependent.So, in my opinion, the parents can take the following advice. First, not help the children do they can do by themselves. Second, parents not only give the advice for the children, but also can give them one cup of water. Third, leave them in a great environment like a close school. And, do not so worried the children, they will meet the best friends and teachers. They will help the children to live in the independent environment.