作者词汇表达较为熟练,学术词汇使用不是很多;句法知识很棒,若增加一些从句的使用,文章会更出色;可适当增加连接词和衔接词的使用;请注意分段。
Years ago, my town was a beautiful place.Many trees around my town.Water in the river is extremely clean and many fish swimming in it happily.The houses are low and the streets are narrow. Although people's life is different,they felt very happy. But now,tall buildings and stores here and there, numbers of cars on the roads.However the environment is very dreadful, trees are less than before and the fishes are died out.It needs to be handled immediately.