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语句间的衔接成分用得不错，同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富；可适当增加从句的使用；作者词汇基础不错，高级词汇表达比较恰当，避免拼写错误。
It's universally admitted that children ought to leave their home and live by themselves When they be an adult . Nevertheless, today, considerable adult still rely on their parents who can accomplish everythings for them .So, what should we do to cuitivate their to be independent? In the first place , doing things by themselves is the key to be independent.It's harmful for children that to be arranged all things . In the second place , what parents really need to do is making kids know the iportance of being independent early rather than when they become adults. At last but no least ,if children ask you for help , you can direct them how to overcome but not finish the task directly . After all , finishing everything for them just drive them be lazy and dependent . In sum up , being independent plays a significant role in our daily life which make us lead a more relaxing and interesting life . It's aslo a social skill that everyone need .
