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有效地采用了多种衔接方法，层次清晰；文中从句数量过少；请作者增加高级词汇的使用，不过单词拼写做的很好。
In my opinion, if my foreign friends visit my home, I will take her to go to Wujiashan where a famous place in my hometown at first. My hometown name is Yingshan. I have been done to Wujiashan several times in my life. Wudangshan, which it is a special and grand mountain. In fact, it is not only a mountain, but also a good park. If traveling here, you will see all kinds of views. It has most highly altitude in my province. That point also a reason what it is famous for. I love Wudangshan, because it has clean water, several plants, beautiful views, and so on. I believe that wy foreign friend must like going to there.
