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过渡词很丰富，衔接词同时使用的恰到好处；作者词汇基本功很好，高级词汇表达也比较恰当；从句数量偏少。
Should University Students Go in for Business Recently, there`s a hot discussion when it comes to the issue that whether university students should go in for business. In terms of this issue, opinions are divided into two major categories. One group hold that university students should go in for business, through which they enrich their social experience, which will enhance their ability to adapt to society after their graduation. The other group oppose the idea that university students should go in business, which will have a negative influence on their academia study. In my view, the two groups` ideas take their respective grounds, but have flaws as well. Let`s firstly take a look at the idea of the first group. That let university go in business , to an extent, can being much benefits, like much fortunes, rich social experience and better adaption to society . But at the same time, this may take up students` study time. Many students cannot focus on study and fail to have a good command of expertise or knowledge, which will have a far-reaching impact on their latter life or even a lifelong negative influence.Furthermore, concentration on business instead of academic study will make university study meaningless. which will cause indirect damage to the development of educational career. Considering so many defects, some extremists may allergy that university students should do nothing but study, which is nonviable, either. I do agree that academic study should be put in first place for university students, but academic study is not the only thing for university students. If a university students only read books around the clock, he or she have detached himself or herself from society. To separate from society is not advisable for a university student. On the contrary, they should have a perception of needs of society, and combine what their study with the needs of society so as to adapt better to society after graduation. But such kind of participation in society should be take place under the premise of performing well in academy. Therefore, as far as I`m concerned, we , as university students, should have a deliberation when we choose go in business. To have a balance between academic study and business is essential. In other words, we should guarantee we have a good command of knowledge before we go in business since going in business will be hard without much knowledge. At the same time, it`s unwise to separate ourselves from society when we are studying since we will eventually go into society .
