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行文较为流畅，作者文中过渡词使用的不错；文中高级词汇使用贫乏，同时拼写错误稍多；可适当增加从句的使用，注意几处句子错误。
Welcom to china to visit the place.l want to tell you a place where i believed that you might like and i also think it is amazing place. The wonderful place is Ha Erbin.Although l nerver go there once ,i feel that it must be a beautiful white place with sonw on cold days.In fact,it is.I just scan the place on net .I fall into love with this civi when i see Ha Erbin's picture .The city covred with white as if she is a princess who are dressed in white pure cloth .No spot on it .And you can eat ice-cream on awful cold whether in there.Do you think it is increadible to image ?It is ture!You also could see the foreien bulding on there ,it look very diferent and make you feel unbelieveable.
