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作者句法知识掌握的不够好，可适当增加从句的使用；作者词汇基本功很好，在高级词汇方面希望能更熟练的使用恰当的使用了过渡词和衔接词，衔接手法做的很棒。
When I was growing up, I really understand life which is not comfortable for me but to continue living with my red heart and my belief. A person should have his own belief, it's meaningful for you to assure something, which is the same as fishes need water and birds fly in the sky. As a freshman, firming the life belief is very necessary. Therefore, to be a dreaming person, joining the student union is pretty good, provided that not, don't be upset, just to go out of our way to learn and live. I have an annifity for each other, learn knowledge from something not only in the textbook, lead a normal life in the school rather than be famous for everyone. It's pretty simple and I confirm that I can do well. Time is not waiting for us, just rate with it, otherwise you do not get something. I always know that direct me going on the way more further and further. Welcoming a hopeful tomorrow to come, run and fight for ourselves. Remember, no pain, no gain. Once you have own view and plan to do it, to have a strong decision and go. Don't put it aside and go ahead, the world will be better you can see..
