文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;正确句子比例较高,适当增加复杂句的使用,文章会更出色;层次不清晰,几乎没有使用衔接词。
I have a good friend. She was my roommate of my high school. From the first day I met her, she looked fatter than me. Now she is more plump. But that does not impact her impression in my mind at all. She is outgoing and like to talk. In most cases, she could easily make a normal thing lovely and funny, especially when she speaks a story. Every story from her mouth, the story become attractive. She is a girl like reading and writing. Making friends is her strength.