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句法方面做得很棒，但是从句不多；作者词汇基础不错，在高级词汇的积累上还要再接再厉；文章结构不错，使用了丰富的衔接词和过渡词。
The beautiful city that I had visited is Yuntai mountain in Jiaozuo He Nan province.He Nan province is my hometown and also an ancient city, it has a long history including lots of culture, stories, and famous characters. There are lots of mountains in China, what special part it have? the majority of mountains when I climbed are similar,but Yuntai mountain was named the five stars level places. Not only it has mountain, but also rivers, waterfalls, grasses, bushes and so on. When you visited there, you would feel as you were in an image place. Everyone is worn out when you climb a mountain, me too. When I arrived the top of Yun tai mountain, I felt I have finished it. A celebration from my heart lingers my ears. If you visited that place, you would be unforgettable about its landscape.
