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语句间的衔接成分用得不错，同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富；作者词汇表达灵活丰富，希望高级词汇的使用能更熟练；作者句法知识掌握的不够好，可适当增加从句的使用。
Nowadays, there are increasing number of people choosing to attend college after high school. The reason why people choose to do this can vary from person to person. And from my point of view, there are mainly three reasons. First of all, attending college can provide us with a opportunity to learn what we like, in another word, we can gain knowledge that we need from college. There are variety of majors we can choose in college such as mathematics, physics, art, engineering and so on. Second, attending college is of much significance in career preparation. There is without any doubt that we can learn enough theory work which can meet our requirement in college and these preparations adapt us with many jobs especially intelligence work rather than simple repeated ones. For instance, I come from a small poor village in the south of China and fortunatelly I gained the opportunity to study in college after high school. However, many of my relatives chose to work in factories after high school due to lack of interest in study or money. And nearly all of them have married for now and they still do some laborious work in factories. Since they don't have any advanced knowledge or skills, they don't have the opportunity to work on the companies which are hospitable for them. As for me, I maybe choose to work on finance engineering and this is tottaly possible since many senior students in our department are working on this career after graduation. The third reason is that attending college is a special experience for us which can enrich our life or change our destiny. Ning Yan, the famous female biology scientist in China, built her friendship with her best friend when she was a undergraduate in Tsinghua University. In Tsinghua, they acquinted with each other because of their love for biology and they chose many same courses. In those days, they discussed problems, attended activities, and encouraged each other. Ning Yan described that those days were the best gift for her in her life. To sum up, people choose to attend college mainly due to the reasons listed above and there are also other reasons because of defferent people. And there is no doubt that atteding college can offer us a more colorful life.
