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句式变化多样，句法方面做的很棒；作者词汇基础很好，也能较灵活使用高级词汇，望继续努力；采用了恰当的衔接手法，层次清晰。
Should college students hire cleaners? No, they wouldn't be allowed to do that. From my personal perspective, it's a behavior that couldn't be encouraged. The dorm is a public area for six dorm mates and each one should take responsibility to clean their common house. Although there are lots of factors that you choose not to clean your dorm, like pressure of exam weeks. From my own perspective is that hire cleaners is bad for us. First of all, if you don't clean your own area, you can't be regarded as a person who is responsible. As an old saying in China, 'you can't be successful if you ignore to clean your house.' which was telling an old story about a man who was too lazy to clean his own house but he just said he was busy making success. However, no one would like to visit him because of his mess house. Currently, we students can not just study theories in college, but also study how to be a better man in society. Cleaning will be a good choice for us to form a good habit. Cleaning dorm with friends can bring a closing relationship. What's more, according to biology research, suitable housework does favor to keep you a good mind. In conclusion, it's not wise to hire cleaners to clean dorms, why not we cleaning dorms by ourselves?
