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作者词汇基本功不错，建议今后多用高级词汇；语句间的衔接成分用得不错，同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富；作者在句法层面做的很棒。
I have worked at ShenZhen three years. As well know that ShenZhen is an economic city, even though many folks chose set down here, in my mind, when I am old, I still return my native town--YanJi city. YanJi is an ethnic minorities city which is located in northeast of China. You will experience enough Korean atmosphere because it near Korea, thus it means you go abroad with less money, why not. It is worth mentioning that there is many delicious, authentic Korean food, like sushi, ramen, barbecue, kimchi and so on. Due to there are many Korean restaurants all over the city, so it is convenient to you to get food when you are hungry. Additionally, YanJi is a shopping Eden and you can find plentiful fashionable garments there. Representative mall is GuoMao, JinHua City, Woman World, girls can spend all day for shopping even maxed out their card. Provided that you inhale an army of fog at first-tier city, don't hesitate to come to YanJi, I promise you will feel euphoric and be pleased when you walk at clean street, throughout uncluttered avenue, railway station without thicker dust. I hold the view that it's a good place to live. Therefore provided that you want to travel a northeast city, YanJi is your compelling choice.
