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增加一些从句的使用，文章会更不错；词汇表达灵活丰富请继续保持，也能较好的使用一定的高级词汇；上下文衔接不流畅，文章结构不严谨。
Firstly,welcom to my hometown--yichun, where is a beautiful city.I promised that you will love here.I would show you it's scenery and culture.You just need to follow me. About the scenery,you know we have the Mingyue moutain,which is very spectacular.Whether waterfull or lash woods,everything in it are attracted.There are really a good place for you to visit.Besides,we have hot spring in Wentang,a wonderful place to relax youself. With the ending of scenery,i will show you some culture about here.Actually,Yichun has a long history,many historical remains left.However,last centry people ruined most of them.It is a pity.Next,it's time to introduce traditional food.The most representative is traditional noodles.It's not only a food,but also a kind of culture. That's all.I hope you will love here!
