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作者高级词汇量积累不足，部分单词有拼写错误；从句使用量不足；过渡词和衔接词使用的比较不错。
A beautiful city is located in Guangdong province, which is named ShenZhen. It is one of the most attractive city in China.Importantly, it plays a significant role in China. When it come to shenzhen, everyone must associate with the openning reform ,a critical turnning point in China operated by DengXiaoPing.Therefore, one of a good choice is climbing the LianHua Mountain. Local people estabilished statue With deng xiaoping as the prototype so as to memorize and express their's gratitude. If you are crazy about various animals, I recommand you to pay a visit to shenzhen zoo in which you will enjoy a wonderful feeling by company with kinds of animal. However , maybe you are only keen on cute and mild bird. Don't worry, you can go to visit red forest where you can not only see various of birds but also feels the friendly nature in this park. Why not spread your wings and enjoy a wonderful travel in ShenZhen. I deeply believe that you can love this city.
