从句数量偏少;文中较熟练地使用高级词汇,但词汇量仍需积累;文中基本没有过渡词和衔接词,建议增加衔接词汇的积累。
As we all know,technology has been developing all along with the progress of the times. We can see that everybody has their own mobilephone. People have more ways to access the information. But,technology is a double-edged sword. At present,a saying 'a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention' triggers fierce debate. There is a very common phenomenon, many people pay more attention to their mobilephone than everthing. Some people even lose lief because of that.