增加一些从句的使用,文章会更不错;上下文衔接欠佳,文章层次欠清晰,建议加强连接词和衔接词的积累;请作者增加词汇表达的丰富度,且要加强拼写检查;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
Tina Go to Beijing. To see the Great Wall and other beautiful sights in Beijing. Have fun. Go with her friends and classmates, they have many stories and funs. Jim Stay at home. Because he study too hard and feel too tired ,so he stay at home for haing good rest. Learn new subjets. Jim is intersated in many new subjets,such as chemical weapons, new drones. He can learn something new