增加一些从句的使用,文章会更不错;文中有几处拼写错误,应增加高级词汇的使用;语言不流畅。
Dear Sigmund My name is Li Hong . I’m a Grade 9 student in No 2 Middle School. Blue and yellow are my favorite colours. Now I have a big problem. My parents are very strict with me .They hardly give me time to play . But I love cosplay very much .So I spend lots of time on it after school .Sometime I don”t hand in my homeworke on time .Now my stuy is getting worse and weorse .My parents and teachers want me to give up my only hobby . I don”t know how to deal with it .Can you give me some advice? bCooco.net.cNb I hope to hear from yousoon. Best wishes! Yours, Li Hong