字数:200满分:100分
作者在句法层面做的很棒;作者词汇基础不错,在高级词汇的积累上还要再接再厉;全文结构较为严谨,应适当增加文中衔接词的使用。
Recently, there's a trend that more and more teenagers have an idol to adore. Additionally, it is normal that your friends, brothers or sisters stick the picture of their idols in the bedroom wall. Thus, what do individuals think about it? Aparently, the most public are highly anxious about pursuing celebrities. They hold the view that children will idolize their idols too much. They will spend almost all of their time to watch videos about their idols so that they have no time to spend on homework. What's more, Children even will fight with each other just for the reason that they have different idols. As far as I am concerned, we should avoid blind worship and learn to worship our idols rationally.It is not a foolproof question to answer whether idol worship is right or not. For instance, I am a Kobe fan all the time, and I worship Kobe so much. All I know is that I adore the spirit which Kobe has put in basketball. There is no doubt that I will put that spirit on my study as my idol Kobe does. Therefore, I argue that fans of celebrities are allowing to exist. The difference is that you shouldn't adore him or her too much. Only when you use that worship on fantastic affairs instead of indulging in idol worship can you have a nice effect on idol worship.