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文章词汇表达多样请继续保持，也能较准确地使用高级词汇，文中一些从句的使用为文章增色；结构不严谨，几乎没有使用衔接词，上下文衔接欠流畅。
there is a tendency that more and more people waste their live in sleep or entertainment ,it's remain me an old Chinese saying :we must persist one thing in our life, no pain no gain . i believe that everyone should have life goal ,because it's source of energy to us.We must acknowledge that heavy work life make us too tired to do anything .But ,our goal can help us get out of this kind of nerves and provide energy to us ,urging us to persist our dream and helping us get ideal live. Of course ,goals can help us happier .why?Absolutely,persisting something can make our live colorful .Improving yourself instead of indulge in TV program everyday is a good thing . if you don't pay attention to something which is worth in your life ,you may lost a long great time. To conclusion,only spending time to persist something ,can you have better live .
