有效地采用了多种衔接方法,层次清晰;句法方面做得很棒,但是从句不多;作者词汇基础不错,在高级词汇的积累上还要再接再厉。
Recently, an increasing number of incidences of school violence have turned up which shocked all of us. These things initiated a hot discussion about protecting student. Consequently, it is high time to take some steps to improve school safety. Here are several suggestions of mine about how to improve school safety. To begin with, we should improve our self-defence awareness. For students, we should never leave without at least two friends especially in the night. And for schools, they ought to check everyone and only permit those who passed security to enter campus. Additionally, the security guard must cruise the campus regularlly to ensure there is no violent incidences. The last but not least, students should also inform to teachers or security guards if we know something about the accident. All in all, school safety is an important thing which needs our high attention. Those above are my tentative suggestions. And the things they should do to improve school safety are more than these.