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采用了恰当的衔接手法，层次清晰；作者句法知识扎实，可适当增加从句的使用；作者词汇量积累不错，一些高级词汇的使用比较灵活，有个别拼写错误。
Given is a simple but thought-provoking remark that the greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it. Apparently, it can be natually associated with our life attitude. As we all know, it is contributions that make life meaningful, and making contributions to others can help ourself happy. A case of point is me, I usually doing compulsory laboour in my commulity at weekend, and what impresess me most was that I prepared gift for some chirdren, they were so moved that surrouding us and singing songs to us, which enjoys me so much. There is no denying that if only you make contributions to others, you will achieve equal patment. Thus, why don't we try our utmost to help those who need associations. Most importantly, providing help to others is one part of meaningful life, only continuously making contributions to others, can we live the life we want. Therefore, no matter what we face and wehere we are, don't forget support your help to other peoples.
