增加一些从句的使用,文章会更不错;文中词汇表达不够丰富,但部分高级词汇用的比较灵活;结构不严谨,行文不流畅。
Dear Olympic committee, I apply for the position of Olympic Game volunteer, and introduce me as ablow. I am Liming, 28 years old graduate for shanghai jiaotong univocity. i like sport such as basketball tenise table swimming and i have a good command of english, alth i like help others. i am expect to contribute for Olympic Game. thank you for your consideration to me 23rd june,2008 Liming