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语句间的衔接成分用得不错，同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富；作者句法知识扎实，可适当增加从句的使用；作者词汇表达较丰富，高级词汇需继续加强，拼写检查要重视。
I will try my best to make him happy if he cames my hometown, of course, eat is very important for people, so I detremined to find too much food. Besides, He and me will visit the great of wall, it is very famous in china. I am sure he will fall in love with here, because there are many beautiful sights and delicious food in my hometown, people are very kind and grace, why I invent him to visit The great of wall, beceuse it is culture, we can realize china from it, it attarct many people arrive here. In a word, it is very necessary to visit it, and you can earn too much knowledge from it.
