增加一些从句的使用,文章会更不错;文中用词稍显贫乏,请多使用高级词汇;建议加强过渡词和衔接词的积累,文章结构不严谨。
I have a good friend.She name is yoyo. She is a beautiful girl. She has long black hair, two big black eyes and a red mouth. Her voice is better. She is good at singing. She is clever and helpful. She likes reading story books , playing computer games and chess. She is also nice. She often helps us . Our classmates like her very much.