词汇表达不够丰富,要增加高级词汇的使用;从句比重偏低,有几处句子错误;文中衔接词丰富。
i met my good friend in the park. she is a girl with red and blue pants, she like playing guitar, but i don't like. then, she want to play computer game, i want it too, we go home together to play computer game. she and me are happy, evening is coming, she goes home.