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可适当增加从句的使用，注意文中的一些小错误；作者词汇使用较为丰富熟练，单词拼写方面要更仔细；层次不清晰，几乎没有使用衔接词。
Talk about net work With the increasing of social development,internet have become the most popular activity to everybody.It bring some functions and entertirement to us.Opinions vary from person to person.some people think internet can make study or work more effective.If students or workers occur some difficult problems,internet will resolve it.Futhermore,internet can improve people's moods.When you feel tired,you can suffering the internet to make your body relief. But some people hold the opposite opinion.They think internet can let lots of teenegers full love in it and effect their's study .Teenegers always can't resistant the attractive of social environment. In my word,I support the second opinion,because there are more and more student which under hignschool always go to netbar and give up their's homework.Even some teenegers don't go to school and don't get home.They usually go to netbar on whole days.Their parents also feel angry but don't know how to do.So ,I think internet can bring some convinient to us,but it also take us some bad problems.Harmful than benefit.
