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文中词汇表达比较丰富，但学术词汇的积累还有很大的空间；可适当增加从句的使用，注意文中的一些小错误；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用。
You can give your help in many ways. Here I have three suggestions. First, you can donate your allowence. The money will be transfer into the hands of those children. They can use the money to buy stuffs such as books, pens and so on. Donating money is a way of helping which is easy to operate and unlimited for using to the children. Second, you can donate stuffs that you don't need anymore and you think is useful to the children. Books, pens, bags, and even balls are welcomed. They will be transported together in trucks to those areas and distributed to the children. Third, you can appeal to your parents for donations, either money or stuffs. This can ensure the amount of the donations as adults have much more choices than us in money and stuffs. At last, I think the children will be grateful for your helps, and the society will appreciate your contributions, and you will feel happy about youselves. Thank you!
人气：30发布：2014-12-20
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人气：57发布：2014-10-19
