过渡词很丰富,衔接词同时使用的恰到好处;作者句法不错,但是文章整体句子稍微偏短;文中用词稍显贫乏,单词拼写方面也要加强;请注意分段。
When I was a child,I usually liked to climb the mountain.I extremely wished the weekend to come,so that I could have a trip with my friends to the village where I stayed here for six years.Eventually,the day that I had been looking forward to came.then I took action at once. I rushed to the house of neiborghood.