简单句比重过高,另应加强复杂句的练习;过渡词和衔接词使用欠丰富,层次欠清晰;文中拼写错误稍多,作者词汇量偏小;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开;连词使用偏少。
Now , Online Shopping have been style.Online Shopping have many advatages.But it have many disadvatages.It is convinient,but is not safe .It have many goods,but the qulity can be poor.Andthe color of the goods is diffirent. I hope that you can consider,when you are Online Shopping .As long as we are cafuful,i believe we can buy good goods.
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