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文中词汇表达多样性不足，在学术词汇方面尤其要多积累；若增加一些从句的使用，文章会更不错；衔接成分太少，文章结构欠佳；请注意分段；可以适当增加副词的使用；请提高文章内敛性，段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
To: Mary Chen From: Li Ming Re: New Year’s Party Date: December 23, 2008 It is the time again for the staff to have some activities to celebrate the New Year’s Day. I know you and some young guys have planned to hold an informal party. But I think we need do something different this year. As I will be in Beijing for a week, it is up to you and the young guys to decide on the time and place of the party. Please let me know your final decision and whether I need do any preparation in advance. Yours, Li Ming
