用词灵活多样,也能较灵活地使用一些学术词汇;文中应增加一些长难句的使用,会为文章添彩;层次不清晰,几乎没有使用衔接词。
Title: School kills creativity. General Subject Matter: Education system and creativity. Theme: Education squanders the creativity. Thesis: Education is a tool for particular commodity and where mistakes are the worst things you can make. Firstly, the lecturer puts the examples that illustrate the extraordinary evidence of human creativity. In this point, we can know that every child is talents at the beginning. Secondly, the lecturer tells us that creativity puts us into a place where we have no idea what is going to happen in terms of the future, no idea how it may play out. We could not judge a child’s with a particular commodity. The children also have their capacities for innovation. Finally, the lecturer states that national education systems where mistakes don’t have their places. Education educating people grow out of creativity and tell people do under the dogma. In my opinion, I totally agree with the lecturer’s opinion. I am also a college student now.When I was a child in school, the teacher was extremely strict with us. They told us what should we do or say, if we don not do it under their dogma, we were wrong. Even more, they would punish us. There was too much dogma surrounded us, if we do not observant of that terrible rules, then we were sticked bad student sign. In teachers’ eyes, mathematic, English, Literature are the important subjects, but Art, Music, PE are not important subjects. And the teachers have partiality for those who do well in important subject. In this way, it would influence the children badly. As the lecture says that a teacher of extraordinary dedication who finds a talent not squanders he. Creativity takes us into the future that we can’t grasp. We can’t predicate what happen on the children in the future. Nonetheless, I think the teachers should respect every of their thought, even little thought. Maybe she or he is the next great man.