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学术词汇需要继续积累，单词拼写不错；衔接词和过渡词用的很不错；作者应适量增加从句的使用量。
Nowadays, with the rapid development of technology and economy, it's popular increasingly that shopping on the Internet.However, when talking about its advantage and disadvantage, opinions vary from person to person. On the one hand, some people think it most convenience way to buy things. Besides, there are thousands of things survived on the Internet, so they can buy whatever they want. Comparing with other ways, because stores on the Internet open 24 hours a day, people can go shopping whenever they want, which is a good things to those who work all day long. What's more, shopping on the Internet offer paying online so that people can leave out the problems of waiting for pay. However, every coin have two sides, other people hold the ideas that there are lots of crisis shopping on the Internet. First, because we don't check the goods present, we can't recognize its quality whether good or not. Second, we can't promise that it's safe to pay online, for which we maybe expose our bank cart to others. Finally, it's possible that relationships between people will be not so close gradually because they lack communication. As for me, I consider it better shopping on the Internet when we can't find things in the shopping square. But I prefer to go shopping outsides because we can see more interesting things and people, and we can exchange our mind with others. In this way, I can live more colorful and meaningful.
